jayosmond.com Blog

Thank you all for those interesting comments on Communication. I really enjoyed reading them.

Last week was a little crazy, but hey, isn’t that life? It seems to go up and down (like going on a rollercoaster ride).  I hope this week is more relaxing.

Anyway, as some of you know, I am a home teacher (home and visiting teaching is a responsibility given to members of the church,  to watch over each other).  Each of these families that I home teach, have kids ranging from teenagers, on down to two years old.  The assignment for them last month from me, was to try and play the game of “Life” without looking at the rule book, then I checked on them to see how it was going. They each described the assignment as, “total chaos.”  Some members of the families tried to establish their own rules of playing the game, and made an effort to enforce them. Others just gave up. Most were wondering why they even had to do this.

Well, the whole idea of this exercise (so to speak), was to get them to understand, that “life” as we know it here on earth, is a lot like the game of “Life.”  We all need to have and understand the rules, if we want to play the game well and correctly. So, it is with this “life” of ours. We all need to understand and apply the rules (commandments that are in the scriptures), if we want to live well and peacefully.

Try it out with your kids, it will be a fun teaching tool.
~ Jay

As a kid, I used to hate the word “communication.”  I thought it was so general and over used.  As I grew older, I eventually realized the importance of this word, and how hard it is at times to get a message across.  I became so bad at it in fact, that I decided to major in communications at B.Y.U. (Usually you major in something at college you’re good at. Ha!)  Anyway, I was fascinated, not only with the word, but with the whole process in theory and in practicality.

Communication, whether it is mass or interpersonal, boils down to the message of the sender, and the different ways of getting it across to the receiver.  If you have ever played the “phone game” with a bunch of friends or in a family circle, you’ll know how easy it is for the message you want to convey to get distorted as it goes down the line.  However, it is not only a verbal challenge we face, but a non-verbal one as well.

I was talking with my kids the other day, and we started to laugh about reading each other’s minds. They usually know what I am thinking just by my expressing a quick look or folding my arms, etc.  It is fun to see how we follow-up feelings with physical gestures.
The important message I want to convey is:
“We will always be communicating something (either verbally or non-verbally) to each other. So let’s be careful to always say it and do it with kindness.  It’s hard to be tactful when we are mad, but with a little effort, we can be nice, and honest, at the same time. Most importantly, I feel we shouldn’t let anything fester too long, because it will come out eventually.

So, for the lesson this week in our Family Home Evening, we practiced how to confront each other early when we are upset.
I will be interested in reading your comments.

Until next week, Jay

The theme for my family tonight will be…taking time to refresh ourselves, so that we have the energy and drive to do for others, as God wants us to do.  If you have flown before, you’ve heard the directions before taking off, that in the event oxygen masks are needed, you should put your own mask on first, before helping others.  A natural instinct would be to try and help others should that situation arise.  Obviously, if you don’t take care of your mask first, you won’t be any good to anyone else.  In life, when we begin feeling as though we don’t have the drive or energy to help others, or we are feeling pushed or exhausted, those are warning signals that we need to balance our lives.  We hear about eating right, getting plenty of rest, exercising, etc., to keep our bodies healthy.  However, we need to remember to do things to refresh ourselves mentally as well.  Devoting some time to ourselves for a hobby, crafts, putting together puzzles, whatever interests us individually, gives us some time to step back and recharge.  The Lord tells us to love our neighbors as ourselves.  So, we need to remember to put our oxygen masks on first!  We will then feel refreshed and have the energy and drive to do for others.

~ Jay 

“If you ever need a helping hand, you’ll find one at the end of your arm. As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands. One for helping yourself, the other for helping others.”
Audrey Hepburn 

First, I wanted to thank all of you for the nice comments you’ve made in response to my first post on “Jay’s Jots.” 

I heard a great quote from C.S. Lewis, “Joy, is the serious business of heaven.”
In the scriptures, we are told that, “Men are, that they might have joy.”
Joy, to me, is the result of a lot of work. I personally don’t think that it can be acquired by a happy thought or even a good deed; it is a process by which we see the success of our labors.
Part of that process, or refinement, is the challenges we all have to bear. We may have different tests, but the intensity of the trials is all the same.
We are told to bear one another’s burdens, and to mourn with those that mourn.
To me, this means that we need to be sensitive to other’s problems, and be there to help when needed. If we do, we will begin to develop that love for others, and for ourselves.
It’s hard sometimes to get out of our own set pf problems, and step outside the realm of our own little world (especially if you haven’t put on your own oxygen mask for awhile, and taken care of your own needs first!).  But, we are promised by the Lord, that He is “bound” if we “do” what He asks us to do!
I know from experience, that if we act on the promptings of the Spirit we receive, we not only will be blessed, but others will be as well.
Our theme tonight is, “actions speak louder than words,” “If you love Me, keep My commandments,” “Love thy neighbor as thyself,” and “do unto others.”
These quotes all go together. They really say the same thing:
Joy comes from loving God and each other!

~ Jay