Regrets
One of the hardest things I’ve had to accept is the fact that my brother Alan broke my nose.  Not only did he break it, but it was considered “crushed,” per the Indianapolis Emergency Room.  The doctor on call said all he could do was shape and try to hold it in place, and if that didn’t work – plastic surgery.  He also indicated that if Alan had hit me just slightly higher, he would have pushed the bones up to my brain.  Any lower, and I would have lost all my teeth.  My friend Sabrina Moralis, who was there that day, caught the “Chuck Norris” staged karate fight on 8mm.  Another regret is that I lost the film somewhere in Alan’s house. 

Anyway, Chuck was a good friend, and since we were all taking karate from him at that time (and halfway to being black belts), he thought it would be fun to create a fight and put it to music.  Elvis really was the one who got us interested in karate.  We wanted to be like him, and he influenced us towards the martial arts.  (Those who have followed our past, can see from videos, the impact karate has had on our dancing.)

But, back to the story…Watching that 8mm film gave me the jitters!  I can’t believe I trusted my brother to come within micro-inches of my face.  I wanted it to look as real as possible.  So did he – obviously.  I’ll never forget that hot day on stage, looking out over thousands of faces, and then seeing Alan – super-charged – swinging his arm back, and walla-woom – I saw red and then stars.  Then I saw Alan’s face as I’m lying on the ground, and heard him saying, “Jay, I’m so sorry, please forgive me!”  He must have said this five times – or at least it seemed. All I can picture was everything went quiet, except Alan’s voice.

As I was rushed downstairs to the dressing room, I saw myself in the mirror with a flat nose and blood.  (Remembering just before the show, I was grooming my “fro” from that same mirror.)  Anyway, I suddenly heard one of my brothers announce over the microphone, “Please give us a minute to have prayer for Jay – we’ll be right back!”  First Aid staff taped my nose to stop the bleeding (I looked ridiculous in the mirror – only I didn’t notice my “fro” this time!).  I remember the blessing given to me as time seemed to stand still.  I remember saying to myself, “I can’t disappoint these people, the show must go on!”

The decision was mine as to whether I went to the emergency room, or continue the show.  Since we were pretty close to the end, I decided to stay and finish.  I was (at that time in my life) in the mindset of “one for all, and all for one.”

After the show, my nose felt like it exploded.  Somehow I was blessed to feel numb, in order to finish the show.  As I walked down the side stage stairs with two State Troopers, there was silence and I saw hundreds of faces in the backstage area with spell-bound looks.  I got into the patrol car, and was rushed over to the hospital.  The pain really started then – it was excruciating, and they gave me medication to calm the intensity down.

That night was one of the worst nights of my life.  I was really hurting – not just physically, but emotionally.  The anger towards Alan didn’t come until years later, but I could see the guilt on his face.  “If only,” were the words he’d try to say to me, but couldn’t.  Only, “I’m so sorry Jay, please forgive me.”

Those words stayed in my mind for years.  Even though I pretended to forgive him, my heart was angry about the stupidity of both of us.  It was only a few years ago that I really forgave him in my heart.  I remember hugging him, and then shaking his right hand (that now limped because of his multiple-sclerosis). I saw his knuckle that he fractured when he hit me, and then looking into his eyes and saying the words to myself, “I love ya buddy, I forgive you.”  Slowly I felt his pain, as mine drained out of me.  I felt the love, sorrow, and compassion he must have felt for me as he responded back, “I love you too brother.”

I knew then that true forgiveness from me – finally had been given.  True peace was now in the place of resentment, hurt and anger.

I thank my God for giving us the power to truly love.  So many of us carry within – malice and bitterness, even after the person who has harmed us is truly sorry.  I learned a great lesson through this.  I learned that we all make mistakes and hurt others accidentally (or on purpose), but wouldn’t it be great if when we, who have been hurt or offended, could be the first to extend a loving hand or warm embrace, and say the words “I love you!”?

P.S.  One of the things that my wife said attracted her to me was my crooked septum bone in my nose – HA!

Lemons into Lemonade!

Jay

My topic for next week will be…one of the most challenging experiences for me in the 70s.  I hope you’ll stay tuned and join me in this exciting new project. 

We are conducting a poll on the e-mail list this week to see how much interest there would be in a book from me, so please check in with that and let us know what you think!